


eight seater

by captainskellington



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Secret Relationship, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 08:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8242177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainskellington/pseuds/captainskellington
Summary: Johnson barely appears at his own stag night, Bitty just wants to hold Jack's hand, it's not actually that sad, and this could all realistically be canon, if you squint.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story was mostly written before the most recent updates, so excuse the still-secret relationship, also I'm Scottish so if Bitty or Jack's dialogue sounds off that's due to a distinct lack of North Americans in my life.  
> Title refers to the taxi?? Subject to change because Jesus that is an awful name for a fic.

"This is," Shitty hiccuped, but powered through anyway. "This is a democracy. A _democracy_ , I say. So, like, Bits should choose for himself whose lap he wants to sit on or. Something."

"If it was a democracy wouldn't that mean we all voted on who he'd be sitting on," came a far-too-reasonable-considering-his-state-of-intoxication voice from somewhere at floor level in the back of the gloomy cab. 

"Fuck off, Rans," Shitty said cheerfully. 

Bitty tried to ignore them - and the eyes he could feel locked on him from further into the vehicle - and considered his options. 

He kind of wished somebody marginally more sober could have booked the cab. It only seated eight and there were  _ eleven  _ of them, and Bitty being the smallest and not having ""manager's dibs"" ("Lardo, that _ isn't a thing _ ."), meant he had drawn the short straw in the way of lap-sitting. 

He could join Ransom and Holster on the floor where they were supposed to be quietly hiding from the cab driver (and failing miserably), but it didn't really seem all that safe. 

Also, ew,  _ cab floor _ . 

He could join Chowder, Nursey and Dex in the back row but it looked like they were having a Bonding Moment™ that he didn't want to interrupt, and it was already crowded enough back there with Rans and Hols squashing their feet. 

He could join Tango and Whiskey in the front with the cabbie, but he didn't know either of them so well and asking to sit on a tadpole's lap was probably weird. 

Which left Shitty, Lardo, and Jack. 

Shitty, despite his recent outburst, was already drooling on Lardo's shoulder. Lardo had magically produced what looked like a tablecloth from the restaurant they'd started the night in to protect her shoulder - and outfit - from said drool. 

So, Bitty tried not to grin too hard as he was  _ forced _ to clamber over Lardo and Shitty's legs and plonk himself down in Jack's lap, as he'd fully intended to all along. 

Jack merely buried his smile in Bitty's shoulder, hidden in the shadows of the cab. 

"Everyone belted?" called the driver, glancing into the rearview mirror as Lardo leaned across Shitty to slam the door shut. 

Bitty pointedly elbowed Jack who huffed a soft laugh and wrapped his arms firmly around Bitty's waist. 

"Happy now?" muttered Jack. 

"Yep," Bitty said in answer to both Jack and the driver, and settled back against the comforting warmth of Jack's chest for the ride. 

He thought back over the events of the night as Jack's fingers curled around his own, unnoticed through the others' inattention and convenient shadow as the cab was plunged into darkness.

Johnson had reappeared from the depths of the Appalachian trail with his datefriend-turned-fiancé and the announcement that the ceremony was taking place locally in three weeks' time, a last minute venue cancellation having given them an unmissable opportunity. Of course, it had naturally fallen to the remaining Hausmates to see to it that his stag night was a roaring success. 

The suggestion of a stag kegster had been immediately vetoed ("Nah, bro, those always get crashed by randos. Plus we'd have to take care of clean-up.") in favor of a 'Haus (stag)Nite Aut', as Ransom had declared it on a chalkboard that mysteriously appeared in the kitchen for planning purposes. 

Jack was a steady bulk behind him, his arm a comforting weight around Bitty's waist, quietly humming along to the radio and gently running his thumb back and forth across the back of Bitty's hand. 

Bitty let his eyes drift shut. 

***

"BREAKING NEWS: CELEBRITY SPOTTED ON HAUS GROUNDS, CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY MYSTERIOUS BUT EXCEEDINGLY HANDSOME MUSTACHIOED MAN!" 

Bitty couldn't help but grin, picturing Jack's face during the following faint wince and mildly aggravated, "Shitty, do you have to do that  _ every _ time we come back?" that drifted through the kitchen window in a less jarring fashion than Shitty's abrupt news bulletin.

"Yup," came Shitty's reply as he flung open the front door to the Haus. 

Lardo, sitting up on the counter despite earlier chastisement from Bitty, rolled her eyes fondly and yelled, "watch the damn paintwork, Knight."

"Watch the fucking language, Larissa," Shitty strode into the room, a wide grin inching wider across his face as he dropped his bag and swept Lardo off the counter into a spinning bear hug. 

Jack followed more sedately, his entire face lighting up as he spotted Bitty. 

"I thought I smelled baking," he said, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around Bitty so tightly that it would have raised eyebrows if the only other inhabitants of the room hadn't been doing rapid three-sixties in the middle of the floor and yelling threats at each other. 

"I missed you," Bitty breathed, heart thundering in his chest then fluttering almost to a stop as Jack dropped a light kiss on the top of his head. The moment was over in a heartbeat, Jack reluctantly releasing Bitty and sidestepping him to crouch and peer into the oven. 

Bitty had to fight the urge to surge forward and touch his boyfriend again, welcoming the distraction of a high velocity Shitty approaching with - literally - open arms. 

Shitty almost bowled him over with his hug, Bitty laughing as he was hoisted up in the air and spun around just like Lardo, who was now leaning against the table and grinning with a vaguely dazed expression on her face. 

"Put me down, you animal," Bitty tried to sound stern, swatting his shoulder with an oven glove. "I'm on cookie watch."

"Ah, right,  _ 'thou shalt not interrupt a Bittle mid-bake' _ . Someone should add that to the Haus rules," Shitty said, setting Bitty back on the ground with only a slight wobble.

"You did," Jack said, an amused curl to his lips, eyes warm and bright as he looked from Shitty to Bitty. "Last kegster."

"I told you they were here!" Chowder cried, braces on full show over an indulgent grin as he dragged Dex into the room, Nursey trailing behind and sniffing pointedly at the air. 

Bitty raised an equally pointed eyebrow back at him. "Y'all can have some when they're done. Lardo has dibs on the dough, though."

"Lardo needs to learn to share," Shitty said, trying to reach around her to get at the bowl. 

"Lardo will beat your ass if you even think about it," Lardo said mildly, brandishing a wooden spoon in a distressingly casual yet terrifying manner in Shitty's general direction. 

Bitty checked the time on his phone and knelt to inspect the contents of the oven. Satisfied with what he saw, he removed the trays and straightened up, only to brush shoulders with Jack, who was setting out heat resistant mats to rest the trays on while they cooled. 

It was little things like that that made it really difficult for Bitty to refrain from kissing his boyfriend in public. 

Actually, pretty much everything Jack did made that difficult. Bitty more or less just always wanted to kiss Jack.

Instead he settled for a smile and tried not to let his face look too smitten. He was pretty sure it didn't work, because the corner of Jack's mouth dipped in the way it did when he was trying really hard not to smile at something. 

"...and Holster should be back soon, they took the tadpoles to pick up a few things to prepare for tonight," Lardo was saying around a mouthful of cookie dough. "God knows what that means. Can't wait to find out."

"As long as it's not-" Bitty broke off as a totally-not-sneaky hand hovered at the corner of his vision. "Chowder! Hands off, you'll burn yourself. Shitty, don't you --  _ MR ZIMMERMANN DO YOU THINK I DIDN'T SEE THAT _ ."

Jack laughed and dropped the cookie back on the tray as Bitty gently smacked his hand.

"Nope, y'all just lost kitchen privileges. Everybody out," Bitty commanded, pointing to the door when nobody moved. "Out, or nobody gets any cookies."

Bitty blinked and the only people left in the kitchen were him, Lardo, and Jack. Muffled yelps as Shitty and Chowder crashed into each other in their haste to escape were the only indications that anyone still remained in the Haus at all. 

Lardo looked at Bitty, clutched her bowl of cookie dough to her chest defiantly and left with more dignity than their friends. 

They heard the front door slam and more voices in the entrance hall, and then Lardo explaining to Ransom and Holster that nobody was to enter the kitchen on pain of a cookieless future. 

After a heartbeat of silence Jack raised an eyebrow at Bitty. "Do I have to go too?"

Bitty unsuccessfully tried to bite back a smile. "Maybe not... if you help with the dishes."

“Deal," said Jack, rolling his sleeves up and moving towards the sink. He paused and turned to Bitty on his way past, a frown settling on his brow. "Wait, I forgot something."

Bitty felt as his face fell, unable to conceal the sudden change in emotion. "What? Like, back at your place? Do you need to drive--"

But before he could finish, Jack had closed the gap between them and bent down to kiss him, a quick press of the lips while they weren't in company. Warmth radiated through Bitty, pure joy evaporating every other emotion and sensation in his system. 

"I forgot to say hello properly," Jack smiled, eyes half closed.

"You," Bitty swayed, unconsciously having stretched up onto his tiptoes to return the kiss. "You are impossible. Dishes. Go."

Jack raised his hands in a gesture of compliance and backed away to the sink, his eyes never leaving Bitty's, his smile never leaving his lips.

"Impossible," Bitty repeated, quieter this time under the rumble of water filling the basin and the thud of Jack - not quite delicately - making a start on the dough smeared utensils. 

He moved to Jack's side to help dry, and when he said, "I love you," it was so quiet that not even the dishes could have heard it. 

But Jack's smile said he did anyway. 

***

First was a bar almost full with people watching a college basketball game, which nobody but Johnson and Shitty really cared about - they had wandered off to get drinks and ended up glued to the screen not long ago - but they all made an effort to be enthusiastic about regardless. 

“ _ Yeah! _ ” Nursey shouted, punching the air and consequently almost elbowing the pile of fries that Dex and Chowder had spent so long painstakingly building a cabin out of. “Sportsball!” he added, seemingly unaware of the death glares he was receiving from his teammates. 

Ransom was oblivious to everyone, lovingly eating a burger with what was quite frankly an alarming amount of cheese and bacon topping. Lardo and Holster were likely off teaching the tadpoles how to hustle pool, and doing well from it judging by how Lardo kept offering to buy rounds for everyone. 

All of which Bitty was finding it hard to focus on because he was crushed against Jack's side in the tiny booth, and although one of his arms was resting across the back of the booth as he absentmindedly watched the game, his other hand was resting on Bitty’s knee under the table. 

It was going to be a good night… but it sure was going to be a long one, too. 

***

"No," Bitty said with all the force he could muster, a hot blush rapidly spreading across his cheeks a lost cause. He could only hope that the garish lights of the third - fourth? - venue they’d visited would disguise it. "We are  _ not _ doing body shots off Jack."

“Yeah. Do them off Johnson, he’s the one getting married,” said Jack, grinning despite his obvious discomfort at the suggestion.

“That's a  _ great  _ idea,” Holster enthused, and disappeared into a throng of dancers to go accost their poor unsuspecting friend, who was at that precise moment nowhere to be seen. 

Ransom sighed and dutifully followed him, pausing briefly to pick up both his and Holster’s drinks from the bar on his way. 

“Thank god,” Dex muttered just loud enough to be heard by those nearest him. “I don't think I could handle looking Jack in the eye ever again if  _ that _ happened.”

“Impure thoughts?” asked Nursey, raising his glass as Chowder choked on his own drink.

“Well, have you  _ seen  _ him,” Dex said, in such a way that didn't really sound like he required an answer, but Nursey nodded pensively all the same. 

Bitty couldn't help but glance at Jack out of the corner of his eye to see if he was paying attention, and the strained expression on his face told him all he needed to know. Jack caught Bitty’s eye and bit his lip, his entire face scrunching up to try and restrain the laughter that was threatening to escape him, his shoulders trembling slightly with the effort. 

Not wanting to chirp them about this particular subject as it seemed largely hypocritical - because, boy, Dex, had Bitty  _ ever  _ “seen him” - he ducked his head and slipped into the crowd where Ransom had passed through moments before. 

Hidden from the others by both the music blasting above and the dancers around him, he allowed his laughter to come bubbling out at volume. He was even more delighted when his laughter was returned with smiles that rippled across the dance floor. 

“Now that was just unfair,” came a voice by his ear, Jack bending down close so he could be heard in the crowd and over the music. “Leaving me trying to cover up inappropriate laughter with a cough.  _ By myself. _ ”

“I'm sorry, but I just couldn't stay any longer without embarrassing us all,” Bitty laughed, jostled closer to Jack by the other dancers, bracing one hand on his chest to steady himself. “I was either going to enthusiastically agree or chirp Dex and Nursey for moving in on my boyfriend.”

His voice faltered on the final word and he bowed his head to try and disguise it. Even anonymous in a crowded club of strangers, he was hypervigilant in his efforts to protect Jack. 

“Hey,” Jack said, tilting Bitty's head back up with a gentle hand under his chin. There was a fire in his eyes that he only used to get on the ice when dirty play by an opposing player went uncontested. Now, it ignited whenever Bitty expressed any level of shame or insecurity about himself; an urge to heal or help what was hurting. It was an intensity that Bitty was still unused to having directed at him.

“I'm sorry,” said Bitty. 

“Eric, you're more important to me than anything else in my life. Say the word and the world will know,” Jack said, and before Bitty could catch a breath or clutch his aching heart, Jack leaned in and kissed him. 

Bitty closed his eyes and let himself have this moment. His fingers flexed in the material of Jack’s shirt, gripping it tight against his chest as he kissed him back. They stood still and unnoticed, the only static couple in a crowd of moving bodies.

Jack was the first to break the kiss, hand still cradling Bitty’s chin as he pulled back and gazed down at him, pale eyes now more warmth than fire.

“Jack,” Bitty said reproachfully, voice weak and heart thundering in his chest. “Someone could have seen.”

“But they didn't,” Jack said, but his cheeks flushed. He moved his hand to Bitty’s shoulder, letting it slip down his arm and considering taking his hand before thinking better of it and dropping his hand altogether. He sighed. “I'm sorry, though, I should've asked before I -- I'll do better next time.”

“It's okay, Jack,” Bitty smiled, and he thought for a second that the rush of kissing his boyfriend in public was probably what being high felt like. He put his hand to his chest to try and calm his poor heart. “But yeah, maybe a warning would be nice.”

Jack eyes followed his hand and smiled, and Bitty got the feeling that anyone who happened to see them in that moment would realise absolutely everything. 

He didn't really have time to linger on it before a familiar voice interrupted the music.

“Hey, hi,” said Shitty, a DJ with an expression that was somewhere between mildly irritated and mildly amused at his side. “It's our man’s stag night, yeah? We're gonna have his last dance as an unmarried man now, so fuckin’ join in guys, let's give it up for our man Johnson!”

A cheer spread throughout the room, partially from enthusiastic and inebriated club-goers who didn't really care what was being said and would willingly join in with pretty much anything at this stage, and partially from enthusiastic and inebriated members of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team, past and present, who could be pinpointed by merit of their shouts being marginally louder than the others.

The song was abruptly cut off and replaced with a classical piece that Bitty vaguely recognised but couldn't name. Ransom and Holster appeared then, cutting through the crowd in great swathes with a loping and technically flaw-riddled waltz that didn't exactly match the music, and might not actually have counted as a waltz at all. 

There was scattered laughter as others joined in. Bitty spotted the back of Johnson’s head as Shitty led him in a surprisingly adept foxtrot, Nursey was leading in a very simple waltz, counting out the footsteps to a Dex whose brow was furrowed in concentration. Lardo spun rapidly past with Chowder, neither of them seeming to have a clue what they were doing but enjoying themselves and risking the lives of everyone around them as they went. 

“Well,” said Jack, a self-satisfied smirk unfurling at the corner of his mouth as he offered a hand to Bitty. “Looks like we've been left with no choice, eh?”

“You better know what you're doing,” Bitty said as he placed his hand in Jack’s and was immediately pulled into hold, Jack's hand a burning weight on his hip. “I sure don't. Prepare your toes.”

“You were a figure skater,” Jack remarked, setting a slightly too slow rhythm that both of them were too busy to notice. 

“Yes, but I wasn't dancing with  _ you _ , now, was I?” Bitty said, smiling up at Jack. 

“Well then,” Jack smiled back, a rare contentedness in his eyes. “You'll just have to trust me. But don't worry,” his lips twitched in amusement. “I've got your back.”

Bitty groaned and gently dropped his forehead to Jack’s collarbone, face burning even with the corniness of it all. “You just had to, didn't you.”

Jack was silent, then Bitty felt a shift of weight as he rested his cheek against the top of his head, a surprised “ _ oh _ ” escaping his lips on a quiet gust of breath. 

Bitty couldn't bring himself to ask about being seen. He was completely and utterly head over heels in love with this man, and nobody was going to take this moment from him. He could feel the warmth of Jack's body against his, the steady thrum of his heartbeat, his breath on his ear.

It was at that moment that Bitty suddenly realised this was going to be forever. Before he had certainly, wholeheartedly hoped, but now he  _ knew.  _

It wasn't going to be perfect, and everything wasn't going to be okay all the time because nothing ever is, but they were not going anywhere. No matter what, they were going to work through all the bad that came at them and triumph together. 

And right now, they were going to enjoy their first dance. 

With many more to come. 

***

Bright city lights gave way to distant twinkling stars as they made their way through to the outskirts of the city.

"Hey, Bits, can I crash on your floor?" Jack said softly, but loud enough to be overheard, squeezing Bitty's hand to punctuate the question. 

"It's the least I can do after you so graciously played the part of car seat," Bitty smiled. 

Truth be told, he had almost fallen asleep in the comfort of Jack’s arms several times throughout the course of the journey. He heaved a sigh of relief as they finally pulled up alongside the Haus, wanting nothing more at that moment than to be curled up in his bed with his boyfriend. 

Everybody clambered out of the cab in their own time, Jack the last of all of them. Lardo paid their fare to the driver as he pretended not to see Ransom and Holster ““sneaking”” (read: falling while giggling loudly and shushing each other) out of the back row of seats after Dex.

Bitty desperately wanted to take Jack’s hand, but the time for that would come. Instead he put his hands in his pockets, checked he still had his phone, wallet and keys, and followed his friends as they wound their way towards the front door.

And then something occurred to him. 

"Guys?" he said. 

They turned to him. 

"Weren't we supposed to be taking Johnson back to the Haus?"

There was a moment of silence. Then:

"How the hell did we forget--"

"On his  _ stag night _ \--"

“Shits, weren't you supposed to--?”

“I am  _ barely conscious,  _ did you really expect--?”

Jack sighed and pulled out his phone, looked up the number of the club, dialled, asked if Johnson was still there, and successfully had a cab sent for him, all in the space of a minute. 

“Well,” he said, somewhat uncomfortable with everyone staring silently at him. “None of y'all were doing anything about it.”

“ _ Y’all _ ,” Shitty mimicked after a moment. Behind him, Ransom roared in triumph as he finally managed to get the door open and promptly fell inside the Haus. “You're spending too much time with Bitty,  _ Monsieur. _ ”

And as Jack's face flushed (whether at the butchering of such a simple French word or at the realisation that he'd slipped into a Bittyism, he would never know), Bitty couldn't help but think that that was just the way he liked it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Johnson being there but not actually being there is my favourite meme, and I didn't mean to post two wedding themed fics in a row but what can I say, I've been marathoning Say Yes To The Dress for weeks now. Also: sorry about the lack of tadpole content... I don't really know anything about them.  
> REALLY feel the need to mention that I came back across **[this art](http://pawspaintsnthings.tumblr.com/post/141407935496/i-dont-know-whos-wedding-theyre-at-but-you)** by pawspaintsnthings on tumblr midway through writing and it probably influenced the middle part of this fic more than a little. (I also originally reblogged it before I even knew what an Eric Bittle was? Sweet ignorance.)  
>  I'm @[serhawke](http://twitter.com/serhawke) and [cityelf](http://cityelf.tumblr.com), feel free to come say hello.


End file.
